PureBasic Forums - English

Wow localmotion34, after that I doubt we would like to have you arround here . You should of said it a little more.. smooth... "Well right now I have a nice job, Im styuding, growing up as a buisness man and everythings going nice.. I believe that maybe those things could change a little if we have kids, at least I'll have less time to study, work.. etc Maybe on some years.. who knows.."

If you put such conditions to your woman, I doubt theres much love between you two guys ..... Or its a very weird society (marriage is a society.. dont forget!).

Parents who do that should be shot. .. twice, then burned to death. They have not right to be mad about what someone did to their own body ... now if it was done to someone else (like circimcism (sp?)), then I would kill the person who did it.

Anyways congrats ... we were thinking about doing the same after our 4th kid, but then after everybody we talked to, all of them stating that you cannot lift past a certain amount of pounds after the operation, ever. And the doctors around here are as corrupt as lawyers and refuse to tell you that ...

So I donno ...Plus, I wouldn't call is selfish, and believe people who think it is, need to be killed, just like people who think suicide is selfish .... oh well, strong opinions.

You think everyone must be killed...
Been playing much GTA San Andreas this days?

It is being selfish.. if your girl wants to have kids and you don't, simply because you think they will ruin your life... Thats not being selfish??

# Not everybody, only evil enough to try to force wrong on another person.

# I dont play games much nowdays, I have enough entertainment from my friends and family

# A person has the right to do whatever they want with their body. This is dispite the corrupt USA laws that state otherwise. Stating such a thing is selfish is the same thing as saying that a person wants to buy a car ... what?!?! By your definition, that person must be selfish ...

Reference: http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=selfish

According to the dictionary, neither suicide, getting snipped, or buying a car is selfish.. When people try to attach other definitions to the word, then there is a problem

Kinda like a person has the right to believe whateve they want... now the belief may not be true/fact, but they have the right to self delusion If he believes kids will ruin his life, that his delusion he will have to live with for the rest of his life.

If his girl wants to have kids and he doesnt, and she tries to force him to have kids, then you are right, she is selfish. This borders along the same line as abortion, I believe it is selfish to kill a baby because the woman doesnt want it. Or is it selfish of the baby to be even existed?

Shannara wrote:# Not everybody, only evil enough to try to force wrong on another person.

Who decides? You?

Heh, decides what? what the term, evil is? I love my handy, dandy dictionary (http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=evil). Ergh, I've been watching too much Blue's Clues.

localmotion34 wrote:i had a "snip snip" operation about 6 months ago. i am 27 and since day one, have had no intention of procreating. my wife feels the same way, and i told her the week before our wedding that if she ever THOUGHT she might want kids, shed better back out now. i even told her that if she changes her mind, just bring me the divorce papers and all will be ok. the law doesnt even require in florida to have spousal consent. i told her i was going, went, and spend 2 days at home resting.

people keep telling me when she hits 29-30, her mind will change and she will make my life a living hell with that "mother instict". her parents will barely speak to me now they are so irate about me getting fixed. many people do not like the decision i made and call me selfish. when it comes to my money, time, career, and education, i am very selfish. and i never wanted a child to interfere with that.

Right on! Stick to your guns I say!

BTW, I am close to moving to Florida myself, a couple weeks now! I'm really stoked!

My wife is even more "no kids" stance than me! Which makes us a great fit. I do not dislike kids, nor she... it's that we do not want to take on that burden. When people say things like what was/is said to you, about being selfish, I say, who the heck are they to even think about getting in the middle of my and my wife's decisions! If THEY want to have kids in THEIR life... then THEY can go adopt one! People that worry about me and my wife, you and yours having kids... have wayyy to much free time!

Okay, deep breath... I'm fine now.

We are animals, and the more rational a person is, the more far from his animal roots is.
Localmotion, I congratule your superior reasoning.
And I expect that now that human ADN sequence is known soon humanity realize about it and assume making and modifying better done ADN in labs to avoid (or at less reduce) limitations, needs and sickness of natural random ADN generated humans, plants, etc. And i expect that soon is developed other "entities" (maybe not ADN nor carbon based) to see more, to learn much more faster than us, and with incalculable knowledge capabilities to know and scrutinize the universe (this is ALL).
Fortunately we are called to that, unavoidablely but pessimist scientist and conscious people think that it could not be possible because the fact "we haven't been clearly reached by extraterrestrial beings" (fact which is not very clear) is perhaps that when a planet reaches certain status it transforms itself unstable, and it is called to disappear due to superstition, stupidity, etc. from their "intelligent" inhabitants.

localmotion34 wrote:people keep telling me when she hits 29-30, her mind will change and she will make my life a living hell with that "mother instict". her parents will barely speak to me now they are so irate about me getting fixed. many people do not like the decision i made and call me selfish. when it comes to my money, time, career, and education, i am very selfish. and i never wanted a child to interfere with that.

I have 2 kids aged 9 & 10 (I'm 36), I can promise you that 2 kids together are much harder work than 1 - like 3 or 4 x harder work than 1 child.
If you decide to have kids, you have to be prepared for big changes, loss of some friends (mismatches in lifestyle) and no money until your career catches up with your suddenly changed outgoings.

My g/f (yes I'm divorced) works with special needs kids, most of which have arrested development entirely due to neglectful parents.

We're not having any kids together (how could I choose one family over another if there was a clash of sports day / parents evening / illness?) - this is a joint decision that may one day change.

I don't think you're selfish to not want kids. It is however selfish to create another human life on a whim. I know so many people who had a baby to fix a failing relationship or "just 'cos she got pregnant" - guess what, they're all broken homes too.

I think that you're in-laws are selfish to expect you to change your life to give them grand children. I just hope you don't change your mind in 10yrs time.

Without a doubt, having a child is the single most important thing any of us could ever do, I wish I'd left it a few years later ('til maybe 30 or 32) when I was more financially able to provide...

Psychophanta wrote:We are animals, and the more rational a person is, the more far from his animal roots is.
Localmotion, I congratule your superior reasoning.

hehe - unfortunately, localmotions superior reasoning has taken his DNA out of the collective gene-pool. Doh!

LOL!

Got my first kid on the way, a daughter due in September. So in 18 years I can tell answer the original poster's question, ha ha.

Well, I'm outspoken, so here I go again.

I may not be a parent (but I treat my two (2) Chihuahuas dang good! aka. my kids)

Something I would offer up is that the parent or parents instill or try to work to get their child/children to have a strong state-of-mind. Maybe that is instilled in the child/'ren via the parent(s) genes, living environment, etc. etc. But, after living myself through foster homes, on-campus boys homes, thru a failed adoption... I can truthfully state that my strong state-of-mind really helped me to pull through some ruff times (living on the streets with little money at one point, ack!). I know there are others that would not have been so fortunate... succuming to illegal activities, hang around the wrong sort of folks (those that do the illegal activities for one), etc. etc.

And, support he/she (them) in what every they want, as long as it's not illegal for example. That does not mean let them run shipshod over you and your guidelines (read: rules ).

In the end... I wish all parents the best of luck and a happy family experience (and for the child/'ren too of course)



Never Give Up! Never Give Out! Never Give In!