Depressed

[marcoagpinto]

Dear ones,

I am feeling depressed.

Supposedly I am going to deliver my PhD thesis on the 23rd, but there are changes to be done to it.

So, nothing is certain.

After 12 years of writing and rewriting the thesis and coding its project, the “million-EUR software”, I don't know what to think.

After being diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia around two or three years ago, I was able to retire and dedicate my time to open-source, my passion, my everything.

Right now, I feel I don't belong here… I am trying to find inner strength to focus.

There is still a lot to do in this world, to leave a legacy for upcoming generations through open-source.

This is what I am feeling at the moment.

Sorry for bothering you.

[skywalk]

Sorry to hear the diagnosis.
You can of course continue to prototype with PureBasic and deploy on github as open source.

[BarryG]

You're not bothering us. Feelings are like tides; they come and go. Just ride these temporary waves and don't let them swamp you. You're a great guy and you do belong here, but there's nothing wrong with taking a break from here if you need to. People do it all the time - myself included. Life doesn't have to be the same routine week after week.

[Olli]

Hi,

you hang to the reality. So, congratulations. I suggest to you, on the 24th, not to stop to analyze, and not to prevent yourself to consider, that the point of view you have about yourself, is not due to other that anything which is only physical. (shortcut : it's not your mind, but how you eat, how you sleep, etc...)

[dige]

Hi Marco, good on you for speaking up.

Keeping these kinds of thoughts to yourself doesn’t help – and you’re definitely not the only one who feels like this sometimes.

Feeling depressed is serious. And right now, the most important thing isn’t your thesis or any code – it’s taking care of yourself. Everything else comes after that.

If you can, talk to someone you trust – or consider getting professional help. Especially with a diagnosis like yours, that’s not a weakness, it’s just reality.

And if you’re worried about not belonging here: you do. You’re part of this community, whether you’re on fire or barely hanging on.
Do what you can – and if nothing works right now, that’s fine too.

Take care of yourself.

[idle]

Marco, a PHD is a lot of work so good on you for hanging in there. Hope you can make the changes and resubmit but don't hesitate to get an extension if feel you need one and your able to get an extension on medical grounds.

And yes you belong here.

[threedslider]

Hello Marco,

Every temptation you experience is a day that allows you to be stronger and more attentive so you don't fall back into the experience that you didn't achieve. The important thing is that you did it, you tried your best, and it was a wonderful experience. You have to look at it positively because each temptation allows you to identify where you need to be.

Even more important is between to put on perspective and work, recharge your batteries, forget about your work for a moment and care yourself, enjoy life, play a little music, etc. And if you feel good about it, why not write a little code while you enjoy it? It can be rewarding and for yourself because every a little step is a great pride for you.

There you go, you're not bothering us, and it's a good time to share with the community, to share passion, and to help each other.

Get well soon!

[Piero]

Dear ones,
I am feeling depressed.
After being diagnosed

Oi maluco (to' brincando)

I was about to say that to be diagnosed as a "mad fool" seems lately to be a good sign…
(…)
…but then I realized that Fred would ban me


PS: meu Portugues ta' enferrujado praca

[Olli]

Think you are a bot. And you instinct will make you human.

Think you are less than a non-significant device, and you will understand you are a unit required for the whole universe.

Five minutes of french music