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MY FAVE
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25. Code: Select all
Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, “Are you ill?”
The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”Code: Select all
Q. How did the programmer die in the shower?
A. He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Code: Select all
Two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, “So what’ll it be?”
The first string says, “I think I’ll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu”
“Please excuse my friend,” the second string says, “He isn’t null-terminated.” Code: Select all
From the Random Shack Data Processing Dictionary:
Endless Loop: n., see Loop, Endless.
Loop, Endless: n., see Endless Loop.Code: Select all
What’s the difference between drug dealers and computer programmers?
Drug Dealers Computer Programmers
Refer to their clients as “users”. Refer to their clients as “users”.
“The first one’s free!” “Download a free trial version…”
Have important South-East Asian connections (to help move the stuff). Have important South-East Asian connections (to help debug the code).
Strange jargon: “Stick,” “Rock,” “Dime bag,” “E”. Strange jargon: “SCSI,” “RTFM,” “Java,” “ISDN”.
Realize that there’s tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market. Realize that there’s tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market.
Job is assisted by the industry’s producing newer, more potent mixes. Job is assisted by industry’s producing newer, faster machines.
Often seen in the company of pimps and hustlers. Often seen in the company of marketing people and venture capitalists.
Their product causes unhealthy addictions. DOOM. Quake. SimCity. Duke Nukem 3D. ‘Nuff said.
Do your job well, and you can sleep with sexy movie stars who depend on you. Damn! Damn! DAMN!!!
