Sperm count

Derek · Post by **Derek** » Tue Jun 24, 2008 8:36 pm

An 81 year old goes into the doctors and asks for a sperm count, the doctor looks puzzled and says "but you're 81, why do you want a count?", the man replies "because I like to know where I stand in life."

So the doctor gives him a jar and tells him to fill it.

Anyway, a week later the man comes back and puts the jar on the doctors table. The doctor looks at it and says "it's empty".

The 81 year old says that he tried with his right hand first then tried with his left hand but got no luck so then his wife tried with her right hand, her left hand and then both hands at the same time but nothing. They then got the woman next door round and she tried with her teeth in and then with her teeth out but no matter how hard they tried...... they couldn't get the lid off!!

milan1612 · Post by **milan1612** » Tue Jun 24, 2008 8:38 pm

Foz · Post by **Foz** » Tue Jun 24, 2008 8:43 pm

srod · Post by **srod** » Tue Jun 24, 2008 8:58 pm

Think I woke the neighbour with that laff!

Rook Zimbabwe · Post by **Rook Zimbabwe** » Tue Jun 24, 2008 9:01 pm

The doc should have told him to put some lubricant on it before he started...

Just to prevent it sticking...

JCV · Post by **JCV** » Wed Jun 25, 2008 5:16 pm

byo · Post by **byo** » Thu Jun 26, 2008 1:28 am

Franky · Post by **Franky** » Sun Jun 29, 2008 10:26 am

damn, you made my day

SofT MANiAC · Post by **SofT MANiAC** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 11:53 pm

Rook Zimbabwe · Post by **Rook Zimbabwe** » Fri Jul 04, 2008 4:36 pm

I was just wondering if maybe... This thread should be made sticky?

Foz · Post by **Foz** » Fri Jul 04, 2008 9:30 pm

You would, you sperm burping monkey!

Derek · Post by **Derek** » Sat Jul 05, 2008 8:59 am

Rook Zimbabwe wrote:I was just wondering if maybe... This thread should be made sticky?

That's a good one.

Rook Zimbabwe · Post by **Rook Zimbabwe** » Sat Jul 05, 2008 4:29 pm

It wasn't the monkey... it was the octopus! And you pay extra for that in Japan!!!

{{ Sperm burping monkey??? WTF!!! ROTFLMAO!!!! }}

Foz · Post by **Foz** » Sat Jul 05, 2008 8:13 pm

Rook Zimbabwe wrote:It wasn't the monkey... it was the octopus! And you pay extra for that in Japan!!!

{{ Sperm burping monkey??? WTF!!! ROTFLMAO!!!! }}

I took it from a quote:

“Oh it’s interesting all right, HJ, there’s action, mystery, and drama, but where’s the comedy and the romance? I want the whole package! I demand entertainment! Dance for me you hairless, sperm burping, monkey!”

The quote has tickled me, and I couldn't resist adding it to a thread on "Sperm Count"