PureBoard

Kirk: "Mr. Spock - Scan the romulan spaceship!"
Spock: "OK, Sir - is 800 DPI good enough?"

God Save The Queen komma acht komma eins...

...auch der C64 war ein Computer...

AND51 hat geschrieben:Kirk: "Mr. Spock - Scan the romulan spaceship!"
Spock: "OK, Sir - is 800 DPI good enough?"

Da stellt sich die Frage, warum die Scanner der Enterprise nie minutenlang kalibrieren mussten.

Nun, die sind uns um Lichtjahre voraus...
Deren Technik übertrifft garantiert selbst die der Japaner. Heutzutage kannste in Japan ja schon Fotos mit nem Kugelschreiber machen... Wie muss es dann erst bei denen sein...?!

Übrigens - wir haben einen neuen Computer gekriegt. Der Händler sagte: Joh, der ist echt super. Der macht ne Endlosschleife in weniger als 3 Sekunden.

Neulich im Computerladen (Anm.: Das ist tatsächlich so passiert)

Von der Tür aus rief ein Kunde, der wohl schon öfter da war, zum Verkaufstresen rüber. Sagen Sie mal, haben Sie noch welche von den Festplatten. Meine ist schon wieder voll.

(Anm.: Auch wirklich so passiert.)

Vor einigen Wochen wollte meine Frau mit ihrem Notebook mal wieder im Web rumsurfen und wußte natürlich ganz genau, dass ohne WLan-Verbindung nichts geht. Unser WLan-Router war abgeschaltet. Schon mal nicht schlecht beobachtet. Aber dann kam der Hammer:

Sie zu mir: "Kannst Du mal das Internet einschalten?"

Ich zu Ihr: "Wow - Du traust mir ja was zu!"

Sie zu mir: "Wass iss?"

(Anm.: Noch ein Tatsachenbericht.)

Hinter dem Empfangstresen (Haupteingang zum Krankenhaus):
Zwei Mitarbeiterinnen unterhalten sich. Eine türkische Putzfrau macht im Hintegrund sauber.

Eine Mitarbeiterin sagt zur anderen: "Stell Dir vor. Gestern nachmittag ist hier vorn der Computer abgestürzt."

Daraufhin von hinten die türkische Putzfrau: "Ich nix schuld. Ich vorsichtig geputzt."

Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 14.1 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable resources.

No mention of this particular
phenomena included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.

Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is ALWAYS launched at system initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding that some applications such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before).

At installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.

Some features he'd like to see in the upcoming wife 2.0 :
---- A "Don't remind me again" button
---- Minimize button
---- Hibernation button
---- Laptop model
---- Separate on/off switch for speakers
---- An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 to be installed with the option to uninstall at anytime without the loss of other system resources.
---- An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which would allow the systems hardware probe feature.

I decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 2.0. Even here, however, I found many problems.
Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 2.0 on top of Girlfriend
1.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 1.0 first. Other users say this is a long standing bug which I should have been aware of.

Apparently the versions of Girlfriend have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port. You think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now.
To make matters worse, The uninstall program for Girlfriend 1.0 doesn't work very well leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system.
Another thing that sucks all versions of Girlfriend continually popup little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0 or 2.0

BUG WARNING

Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.

BUG WORK-AROUNDS

To avoid the above bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and never run any file transfer applications such as Laplink 6.0.
Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0.
Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.0 via a UseNet provider under an anonymous name. Here again, beware of the viruses which can accidentally be downloaded from the UseNet.

URL: http://www.esculape.com/textes/wife.html