PureBasic Forums - English

Sparkie wrote:

Flype wrote:...(i always discuss with my wife but rarely about programming).

Which could be a reason for your wife not to understand how much you enjoy programming.

Is it impossible to find a girl that have the same interest in programming as us guys? (Sorry all PB girls) I think I have meet two or three in all those years. Are they so rare? If so, why? Because of guys mathematical and logical minds?

Personally I think that its good to have different interests. My wife has little interest in computers, apart from doing online banking and what she has to do for her work. Opposites do seem to attract.

Compromise is important, but it becomes much harder to do your own thing when you have children. I have 2 teenage boys, and their sporting and theatrical activities keep me as busy as a taxi driver. With my older lad (nearly 16), I can't even look forward to him getting his own car, as he has a degenerative eye condition, which will preclude him from driving.

Easiest way - do it when you can - otherwise be part of each other's world. You can be a long time lonely.

@techjunkie:
maybe its because today girls want get a job and make carrier into the business world, while some of this and the rest girls are wanting and getting in sometimes in very young ages childrens. So a lot of this girls jsut want to make party and/or beeing a good mum for the kids. A know a lot girls, very interested in computers, mainly chatting and www ^^ , some are playing latest 3D shooters and other games! I think coding is time intensive and when having young childrens you have to be there for the kids ^^

still looking for a wife too

Uninstall Wife 1.0

Then reinstall GirlFriend 2.7 ..

- np

I'm blessed. My wife and I have reached a point where we just trundle along smoothly most of the time.

There was some friction and a few sparks (with a couple of spectacular pyrotechnics) early on, but now we've mostly worn each other down, there very few and very small jaggies left, mostly just smooth bits, even the scars are faded away.

I think, looking back, that something of great interest to one was sometimes seen as a challenge or competitor by the other, especially in times when one of us needed validation. Then, didn't matter what the external was, it could become a cause for issue. Sort of "prove I'm important by modifying or sacrificing for me something that I can see is very important to you."

Once done, the external could be taken up again later. It had been canned and now it was no longer a rival.

(Then again, on her side, maybe she just realised what a boring fart I was and wanted me out of the way so she could pursue her interests. )

Anyhow, nowadays I do more or less as I want, she does more or less as she wants, we do a lot of things together, we're business partners and spouses and lovers and tolerant and tolerating and we are great - no, make that best - friends.




Ummmm. (Self interest creeps in):

Flype, tell your wife there are over 2000 people who rely on you to keep them on track and help them over coding challenges. This is All true. We need your contributions here, man!

What drama!

*sigh*

Computers are replacable, relationships aren't. So better make time for loved ones. (I am so hypocritical saying that since I work 60 hours a week)

> if all programmers cut down their pc time to look after her indoors,
> nothing would get done.

I don't mean have NO time on the PC... I just mean don't do it 99% of the
time and only give her 1% of course. I think 25% PC and 75% partner is
the way to go, and definitely NEVER >50% PC unless you're trying to break
up with her!

Why is it that when you go shopping with the missus you go into one shop and they look at shoes while you stand there trying to not look bored, they say "do you like these?" and you say "Yeah, very nice" then they seem to go off of them and so you go to another shop, then another.

Each time, "do you like these" and you start saying things like "I'm not the one who's going to wear them, get them if YOU like them", a big row normally breaks out and you both storm off towards the carpark!

Halveway to the carpark you say something to try and calm the situation which either works or not, if it does you then both go back to the first shop and buy the shoes she first looked at, then you go home, after taking 3 hours.

If you go out to buy shoes you drive into the carpark, buy 10 minutes of time, go into the first shop, grab a pair of trainers, buy them and get back to the car with 5 minutes to spare.

And they complain about us not spending time with them.

Hello I have the same problem myself

I think I have the answer though...

1. Slow down on the programming side
2. Try and teach the girlfriend programming
3. Give up the Girl - Bad Idea - Need someone on cold nights
4. Give up Programming - That would be a Sin!

I think option 2 try to get the girlfriend interested even if its at a design level

best of luck with this problem, I know its not an easy one...

Regards
Kevin

yeah, i already try the 2nd solution but after 2 days she was thinking not being able to go further... Watching TV is of course much easier and interesting than playing with a keyboard.

another solution is to make programs for her, one time i made a lovely demo (like in the demoscene) : i took a photo of her, a photo of me, one of her cat, some photoshop adjustment, adding some realtime animation like falling white snow, a jeyser just like a fireworks, some scrolling etc. the result was really good looking. she loved that.

another time i made her a proggy that retrieve the TV program she also loved that and she still use it.

when i encountered her, in my company, she was using my own software in the hotline. so she was proud to use all stuff i made. but now that she left the company it's not the same interest.

but well, as PB said, 25% (or maybe 30/35) and 75% of my time for her should be a good compromise.

SoulReaper wrote:Hello I have the same problem myself

I think I have the answer though...

1. Slow down on the programming side
2. Try and teach the girlfriend programming
3. Give up the Girl - Bad Idea - Need someone on cold nights
4. Give up Programming - That would be a Sin!

I think option 2 try to get the girlfriend interested even if its at a design level

best of luck with this problem, I know its not an easy one...

Regards
Kevin

5. Force the Girl to start playing WoW! She is hooked in a couple of hours

techjunkie wrote:5. Force the Girl to start playing WoW! She is hooked in a couple of hours

LOL.
That would be great - but: ".... a couple of hours".
I guess my wife (who loves RPGs) would be hooked for a couple of days. Or until she wants the next cigarette.
And then? Who takes care of our son?

Son: Mom? Dad?
Mom: Not now - I've gotta kill that Ork first...
Dad: Not now - I'm hunting a bug here....

Then I prefere rubbing her feet.

The other thing to consider (hope she's not reading this!) is that if you prefer
coding to being 100% with her, then maybe she's not the right girl for you.
She should be able to just wink at you and you'll be right over there in less
than a second, and making out like a bandit!

PB wrote:then maybe she's not the right girl for you.

no, be sure she's the right girl and as she said herself i'm the right guy.

but she simply wants me to spent less time programming,
she confirmed me that she doesn't wants me to stop everything related to computer stuff.

like Kale said before, we're all in the same boat.

Sparkie wrote:... The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman ...

Thanks for the hint - I ordered it from Amazon. It's on the way and I'll read it, when we are on vacation.
This still is a hobby we share - reading a book together. One reads, one listens.