You - Programming - And your wife.

Joakim Christiansen · Post by **Joakim Christiansen** » Wed Aug 23, 2006 7:54 pm

ricardo wrote:I DON'T have this problem because one reason: My wife are on the same train, she loves to program and to learn about that (she is on the university on computer science).

Haha, that's the best.

Num3 · Post by **Num3** » Wed Aug 23, 2006 8:07 pm

Eheheh...
Welcome to the boring world of... You can't do what you want when you feel like it!

I know there's a patch for problem on the net...

Wife 1.1 i think

srod · Post by **srod** » Wed Aug 23, 2006 8:09 pm

dracflamloc · Post by **dracflamloc** » Wed Aug 23, 2006 8:12 pm

Joakim Christiansen wrote:
ricardo wrote:I DON'T have this problem because one reason: My wife are on the same train, she loves to program and to learn about that (she is on the university on computer science).
Haha, that's the best.

I had a girlfriend once who was like that. I got really annoyed because she'd ask way to many questions of me and I'd never get anything done. I guess it depends on the situation. I guess my experience was with someone who didn't want to research things herself.

techjunkie · Post by **techjunkie** » Wed Aug 23, 2006 8:35 pm

Flype, you are not alone!

I don't know how many times I've heard "You can take your f*ck*ng computers and disappear out of my life!!". It's the same time after time - girlfriend after girlfriend (I hope it works this time...).

Well, I hope my girlfriend will be as understandable as Thomas Edison's wife. He sleept 180 nights / year at the lab, didn't he?

Programming is a lifestyle and "a call" - you can't live without it!
(You can, but you will feel misserable and unhappy for the rest of your life)

PB · Post by PB » Wed Aug 23, 2006 9:11 pm

> I don't know how many times I've heard "You can take your f*ck*ng
> computers and disappear out of my life!!"

But seriously, if you have a partner, you must reduce your PC time. It's just
as simple as that. People must come before machines. If she's not your wife
and you want more PC time, then I'd say end the relationship and stay solo.

Kale · Post by **Kale** » Wed Aug 23, 2006 10:03 pm

PB wrote:But seriously, if you have a partner, you must reduce your PC time. It's just
as simple as that. People must come before machines. If she's not your wife
and you want more PC time, then I'd say end the relationship and stay solo.

You have a point but if all programmers cut down their pc time to look after her indoors, nothing would get done.

The Internet was built by obsessive hackers! Same with all breakthroughs of the last century really.

You just got to be luck enough to find a really supportive woman or face lots of arguing.

Num3 · Post by **Num3** » Wed Aug 23, 2006 10:07 pm

Kale wrote:You have a point but if all programmers cut down their pc time to look after her indoors, nothing would get done.

The Internet was built by obsessive hackers! Same with all breakthroughs of the last century really. You just got to be luck enough to find a really supportive woman or face lots of arguing.

True...

But 90% of everything get's hacked and cracked by 16 year old teens ...

Flype · Post by **Flype** » Wed Aug 23, 2006 10:30 pm

PB wrote:I'd say end the relationship and stay solo.

which is not what i want, for sure.

all those little stories are really interesting reading.

i decided to print this thread and discuss about it with my wife (i always discuss with my wife but rarely about programming).
she was particularly sensitive (moved? - not sure about translation in english) of the intention and about the story of Kale & Sparkie.

Kale · Post by **Kale** » Wed Aug 23, 2006 10:45 pm

Flype wrote:she was particularly sensitive (moved? - not sure about translation in english) of the intention and about the story of Kale & Sparkie.

... I would like to spend more time with my girlfriend but learning to program computers (and the associated complexities) is so incredibly time consuming.

I suppose there has to be a compromise somewhere?

mskuma · Post by **mskuma** » Wed Aug 23, 2006 11:17 pm

Flype, I can totally relate - I've been in situations where I've been separated (working overseas for an extended period), working after hours on work stuff, and many hours on part-time personal projects. I spent over a year on one such project - consumed nearly all my spare time because it was a project I really believed in. The key to it is (1) give your wife a computer and work along side her while she is surfing, and don't mind the interruption when she wants to show you something, (2) communicate about the work you're doing in lay terms so she can feel a bit involved (and understand why its a project you believe in), (3) when your not programming, put extra effort into everything else - 'mundane' stuff, house duties, etc, (4) be sensitive & be prepared to (at a moments notice) stop all programming if you sense she's getting annoyed (i.e. avoid the temptation to get totally absorbed in the work). Of course it helps to have a very understanding wife too, but these are generally what works for me.

Sparkie · Post by **Sparkie** » Wed Aug 23, 2006 11:58 pm

Flype wrote:...(i always discuss with my wife but rarely about programming).

Which could be a reason for your wife not to understand how much you enjoy programming. It's good that you and your wife have opened this up for discussion. Communication...Communication...Communication...

I explained it like this to my wife...my programming equates to her reading a Harry Potter book. If J.K. Rowling was able to write faster, my wife would be reading 6 - 8 hours each night and I would be sitting right next to her at my desk...coding my little ass off.

As it is, unless programming starts to bring money into our pockets, it is not high on my priority list, and it will never replace my wife as my #1 priority.

ricardo · Post by **ricardo** » Thu Aug 24, 2006 12:38 am

No matter my wife understand me (or shoul i said that i understand her??), we found that we HAVE to schedule somethings.

Per example, every day here at 9:00 p.m. PCs get shutdown and we seat 1 hour to talk, just get out stress and communicate.
Usually after 10:00 pm we watch some DVD movie.

What im trying to say is that some ppl (you alone or you and your wife, if she shares your interest on PCs) could gone crazy (stressed ppl) if you forget to take some time to some extra PC activities.

I was feeling so stressed, compulsive, not well opened to hear any conversation, impacient, angry... etc UNTIL i found i have to sleep enought and keep my family as a normal family.

I found i have to put some mind break betwen PC -> Bed. I have to have some time to smile (i had forgot that kind of human relations), to listen (without get angry or desesperate) some trivial conversation, etc.

Don't go from PC to bed, thats NOT good for your healt. Get some time for real world, real feeling and even trivial things.

My two cents for keep a human no matter you like programming... some one must write a guide like "How to keep human no matter your programming habits"

Remember what family means?

ricardo · Post by **ricardo** » Thu Aug 24, 2006 12:42 am

What i tried to said was:

No matter my wife support me, my mental healt don't.

Need to be unplugged some time before go to bed to remember how does it feels to be a human.

srod · Post by **srod** » Thu Aug 24, 2006 12:53 am

Need to be unplugged some time before go to bed to remember how does it feels to be a human.

I agree, wise words indeed.

I've been hacking away now for about 13 hours: 4 writing mathematics materials and the remainder coding, mostly trying to fix a bug. This is extreme and I feel absolutely drained - stupid *astard that I am sometimes!

Although the bug is nearly fixed (still work to do), I'm off to bed before I fry my brains completely. I know I won't sleep though because I've had no time away from the computer today.

Tomorrow, I will force myself to keep away from coding (well, maybe a little bit later on! :roll: ) Get out, swim a bit, maybe go for a jog as well (yea right!

)

This thread makes interesting reading.